Barbara Wilder - The Adventure Continues - Love, Money, Spirit, and the Divine Feminine

Thoughts about the Lighted Grid and My Two Broken Feet

2012-02-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

Hi, my dear friends,

So, one week before my birthday, Saturday, February 11, I was out in the beautiful Southern California morning walking, Gage. He's my dog, if you didn't know. See him in the picture above. I had just begun an intuitive painting class that week, and I had painted three paintings that morning. One was simply the work Help painted diagonally across the paper, with a red dot in the middle of the "e". I assumed that was, a request for Help from the Divinge universe. I also had become aware that doing intuitive painting was opening up a pathway into my consciousness that was revealing beautiful new awarenesses that I had never known before. So, knowing all this, I will continue. While I was walking down my street, I suddenly felt my heart chakra open and fill with warmth, and the vision of people, all feeling like family, playing together in a field of gold and greenery and pure abundance of everything. It was so incredibly sweet. And it was a new sense of abundance that I had never before experienced. As that continued to infuse me, I saw a beautiful Dogwood bush and looked over to examine one of the blooms. At that moment my right foot hit a very large break in the sidewalk that rose up about 9 inches. My right foot twisted causing my left foot to reach out in front of me to stop the fall, but there was another very high break in the sidewalk, like a small ledge, and my left foot landed right on it and I fell foward over the ankle, and broke it. Suddenly, after all this loveliness I was lying on the sidewalk, going in an out of consciousness with what I would come to learn was a fractured and sprained right foot, and a broken ankle (both the fibia and the tibula). I didn't have my phone, and there was no one on outside. I realized all I could do was cry for Help. And then I did, less than an hour after having painted the Help in black with a red dot. (for blood perhaps.)

What happened from there was amazing. An elderly couple passing in a car stopped. She went up the street and got my neightbor, Dawna. In the meantime the couple who lived in the house on whose sidewalk I now lay sprawled came out. They tried to help me up. He brought out a walking stick, but there was no way that I could stand on either foot. The woman called 911, and a fire truck arrived, as did my neighbor Dawna. The firemen made a cardboard splint for my worst foot and carried me into Dawna's car. She took me to the ER and the rest is history. The strange thing is that they sent me home with crutches and not a wheel chair, which was on the absurd side. So, when I got home my 6'10" basketball player neighbor picked me up and carried me into the house and set me in my rolling desk chair which was my mode of movement for the next 12 days until I finally got a wheel chair. All of the stuff with doctors and insurance was all a comedy of errors and craziness, which I won't bother with here. Just know that my feet are both healing. I can stand on my right foot for a few moments at a time, and I'm getting around quite well in my wheel chair. The pain is still pretty intense, but I manage that with pain killers.

But in the meantime I'm painting up a storm. I'm not a painter, I'm simply expressing my inner experience with paint on paper and it is a sweet sweet exercise. And I am meditating, journaling, and healing. Sweet people have gathered around me to Help me through this. And what I am seeing is the birth in my life of that community of love and abundance that I saw in my vision just before I fell.

In my Light Work practice the Light energy that is anchored in the feet chakra is called The Joy of living. And I knew from the instant that I became conscious lying on the sidewalk that what had just happened was that my feet chakra was breaking open to let in The Joy of Living. I feel it more and more each day.

Yesterday I was speaking with a lovely friend, Jamie, who is also and energy worker and healer. She is struggling with monetary woes right now, and I am struggling, of course, with my broken feet. Before we hung up I told her that I was sending her lots of healing light energy for her finances. And she responded that she was sending me lots of healing light energy for my feet. Suddenly I saw what that looked like. Beams of healing energy stretching across the map of the US (she's in NY. I'm in LA). And then I saw a vision of what the earth will look like when we are all sending healing energy to one another. It was a gorgeous grid of light, like a web of healing, cress-crossing the planet. And I realized that that is what will, or is, shifting humanity up into a new world of peace, abundance, and joy.

So, my suggestion to you all is to send as much healing light energy to as many friends as possible each day, so that we can intensify the lighted grid. And also, open your own heart to the healing coming to you from all around the world.

With much love, joy, abundance, and great goodwill,

Money in the Time of Ascension

2012-01-25T14:11:00.002-07:00

Wow! It’s finally 2012. Many of you have been anticipating this magical year for decades. We still have eleven months to get to the end of the world as we know it, 21 December, and the beginning of the new paradigm, 22 December. In the meantime, my sense is there is magic taking place behind the scenes, and we are the magicians. We each have within us a portion of the great mosaic masterpiece of the new paradigm. And it is our mission, if we choose to accept it, to strip ourselves of all our old demons of shame, fear, lack, anger, co-dependency, and victimhood that we’ve carried for lifetimes, so that we are brand spanking new to enter the new paradigm, or the ascension into the 5th dimension. And therefore we each will be a beautiful shining tile of the great new mosaic.

What exactly the new paradigm will be like is not yet known, because it is being created by each one of us, each moment of each and every day. This process has been going on for quite some time, but now we’re in the final hours. So much of the heavy lifting has been accomplished. Now it’s the time for fine tuning, polishing, and digging up the last of the shadow material and giving it to the Light.

Each of us came into this life with life themes, such as illness, death of loved ones, feelings of low self esteem, never having enough love, or money, or success. These life themes aren’t random occurrences, but what we chose to work with for our own soul’s growth and expansion and for the growth and expansion of humanity’s collective consciousness. We are not islands unto ourselves; we are part of the greater human beingness. But having said that, there are times when we must be alone to go inward to polish our mosaic tile. And this is one of those times.

If you find that one of your life themes is the pain around Money, you are not alone. All of us, from the poorest to the wealthiest, share in this theme, because in the old paradigm Money was imbued with the energies of fear, greed, lack, anger, poverty, extreme wealth (as opposed to comfortable wealth for all), power over others, war, hunger, and domination. This has caused spiritual people to disdain money, thinking of it as a necessary evil. Some believe that the only way to be free of painful money issues personally and globally is to get rid of Money altogether.

There is a lot of discussion and experimenting with ideas of going back to the barter system, or creating new currencies to replace Money. But though these are noble efforts, they aren’t practical or effective. Barter worked in earlier eras because we lived in small communities. Now seven billion people live on the planet, necessitating a more fluid currency. And not effective, because creating a new currency doesn’t address the root issue, which is the false belief that there is a limited amount of Money in the world, and we must fight and even die to get our share.

One thing we do know about the new paradigm is that Money will vibrate at the frequency of Love and abundance for all. It will be understood that Money is a gift of Love from Source to support every one of us. We won’t have a new currency; Money will have a new consciousness. For this shift from Money based on the old paradigm of fear, greed, and power over others, into Money based on Love, abundance, and goodwill for all, we each must heal our own personal money issues, and transform Money into Love within ourselves so that it becomes part of the new mosaic. The knowledge that there is enough for all will help us let go of ego attachment to being better or worse than others because we have more or less Money, and allow ourselves to flow into our own life paths and our own divinity.

Truth is, Money is part of the holy universe. It is here to support us all, and all it takes for this truth to be made manifest is for us to heal the feelings of lack, fear, greed, and anger within ourselves. And each time we heal a tiny part of these feelings, we heal a part of the greater human consciousness around Money. Each time we heal within ourselves a sliver of guilt, a modicum of greed, a small bit of low self-esteem, we are healing the World consciousness around Money. Because when we heal, we open up to the flow of Love and abundance and that Love and abundance then amplifies throughout the greater consciousness, which will in time shift the world’s economy from a fear based economy into a Love based economy.

As we polish the mosaic tile of our own money themes, the world banks will, without even knowing they’re doing it, shift up into the higher vibration of Love. And Love is limitless. All of this is being accomplished within our own hearts and minds. We are the magicians behind the scenes. We are creating the magic of the new paradigm.

An Ancient Myth that tells the story of today.

2011-12-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

Hi, All,

I'm posting this today, because I believe that this ancient Hindu myth tells the story of exactly where we have been and what is happening right now, as I write this post. The tide is turning. The shift of the economy, which is the shift from the old paradigm of greed and disregard and hate for the beloved Mother, to the unfolding of a truly abundant, loving paradigm where All of the Mother's children will be taken care of is happening. We are, everyone of us, even the bad guys are "stirring up the Sea of Milk." (see the story below)

Here is the ancient myth. Look at the wonderful symbolism in a myth written thousands of years ago.

LAKSHMI – THE HINDU GODDESS OF WEALTH

In Hindu mythology, Lakshmi, also known as Shri, is the goddess of all that the material world offers to humanity. The legends say that all women of the world are forms of Lakshmi, and that where Lakshmi presides there is prosperity, virtue, righteousness, truth, and compassion.

One of the Lakshmi myths begins when Devendra, King of the Gods, carelessly, allows his horse to trample Lakshmi’s lotus blossom necklace that is lying on the riverbank. The great sage Durvarsa is so incensed by this lack of respect for the gracious Mother of All, that he puts a curse on Devendra so that he may never see Lakshmi again.

But this curse on Devendra deprives the entire Earth of Lakshmi’s presence. Without the goddess of wealth and compassion there is great suffering throughout the land. There is not enough food for all the people. Only the kings dine on fine foods served on golden plates. The demons are happy to see this division between the rich and the poor. They side with the kings and celebrate their greed.

Soon the kings realize that their greed cannot sustain them. Without Lakshmi, the Earth is parched. No food can grow, and even the mightiest rulers have nothing left. They turn their backs on the demons and appeal to the gods to intervene to bring Lakshmi back.

It is revealed that Lakshmi now resides under the sea of milk. It will take the power of all the gods, mortals, and even the demons to churn the sea of milk and return her. After much politicking, the gods convince the demons that once Lakshmi is restored to heaven, the kings will regain their wealth and will turn to them again to support their wars and greed.

All the gods, mortals, and demons agree to work together to churn the sea of milk. They work for many days, but to no avail. At last, just as they are about to give up, Lakshmi arises on a red lotus blossom with golden coins falling from her hands. All are elated by her presence. She brings with her ambrosia to heal the land, and there is great rejoicing, but quickly the demons steal the ambrosia. The celebrating stops as the gods fight the demons to reclaim the ambrosia. The great God Vishnu, who is the preserver of the universe, comes to the rescue, disguised as a beautiful a seductress. He takes the ambrosia from the demons, and then instructs the gods and the demons to sit down in two lines so that he can share the ambrosia equally with all of them. But this is a trick. He fills the cups of the gods with ambrosia, but the cups of demons he fills with poison. With the demons finally gone there is great celebration, as Lakshmi bestows health and prosperity on the land once more.

It’s interesting to note that even the demons are integral in bringing Lakshmi back to Earth. Because the demons hold power over the parched and barren land, they are necessary in the return of the Great Mother Lakshmi. Yet they must be tricked into the game by the gods, who know that their delight in war and the games of greed and seduction, are also their downfall.

In our society, the demons are playing their role in churning up the sea by showing their hand so obviously in the wars, politics, and corporate scandals that abound. As we Power Women and everyone who loves goodness and truth own our power, we are joining the forces churning the sea of milk, and in the final act, we will depose the demons.

Time to Put an End to Fear and Greed

2011-09-22T12:46:00.000-06:00

"Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Oh, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be." That's the song that has been going through my head for the last several days. I think I might add some new lyrics. "Let it fall. Let it fall. Let it fall, Oh, let it fall. There will be a healing, let it fall." There is an old Chinese curse that says, "May you live in Interesting times." Well, these are certainly interesting times. And you may be saying, enough already, with these interesting times. But you can also see this as a time for great celebration. The old ways are dying. They are literally falling apart. Politicians are trying to save the old, but there is no way. The old fear and greed economy is no longer viable. It is over. It's time for a change. Yes, a very big change. A change that is so immese that our poor little brains can't conceive it. But our hearts can. Our hearts have the capacity for great love. And it is great love that will heal our economic woes. Nothing more and nothing less
than Great Love. Great love for yourself, and for all your sisters and brothers throughout the world. This is what is called for now. And it's not easy. But this is what we are being asked to do. This will heal the crisis. So, it's a time for deep soul searching and deep heart healing. And immense trust in the sacredness of our holy universe.

Announcing Upcoming Teleclass - Prosperity from the Heart

2011-09-14T11:27:00.001-06:00

PROSPERITY FROM THE HEART

– A five week TeleClass on

How to Open Your Heart to Allow a Steady Stream of Prosperity into Your Life in the Midst of These Challenging Times

With BARBARA WILDER

Author of

MONEY IS LOVE:

Reconnecting to the Sacred Origins of Mone

Are you facing foreclosure or bankruptcy? Do you fear you’ll never be able to pay off your debt? Have you lost your job and fear you’ll never find another? Do you fear if you leave a job that is stifling your soul that you’ll never be able to find another one in this hopeless job-market? Are you afraid that Social Security will be cut off? Are you afraid that you’ll die a bag lady or a homeless dude?
If you answered YES to any of these questions this is the teleclass you have been waiting for!

Learn how to unhook from the collective fear around money, and tap into the abundant flow of the universe. Money is Energy. Energy is Limitless. Therefore MONEY is Limitless, but only when it is infused with LOVE.

October 18th Event FREE

Click to Register

Love expands. Fear contracts.

This teleclass goes beyond the Law of Attraction and teaches you the tools to actually transform your thoughts and feelings so that you become the attractor of your wealth, while at the same time you learn to transform money into love so that it becomes something

you whole-heartedly desire to attract.

There is a lot of talk about ascension these days. In this teleclass you will learn to ascend right here on earth

into the vibration of true wealth.

“The Talmud says, ‘True Wealth is abundance that does not create scarcity.’” Nilton Bonder, The Kabbalah of Money

FREE Introductory Event

Tuesday October 18

2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

Living in the Vibration of Love and Money

Barbara will share with you her own stories of loss, bankruptcy, foreclosure and how she not only survived them all, but how she learned, grew and prospered from them. She will talk about fear and how it is the poison the has crippled the worldwide economy, and show us how, by releasing our own fears, we can prosper in the midst of this worldwide economic failure, and even become bright lights to help others find their way onto the path to financial peace and serenity.

----------------------------------------------

FREE event on Oct. 18 is followed by 4 Week Class $197.00

Change your entire financial future for just $197.00 Click to Register

4 Week Course Outline

Class #1 – 10/25 - 2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

THE HISTORY OF MONEY AND UNHOOKING FROM OLD BELIEFS ABOUT MONEY AND POWER

This class will focus on the history of money to give you a brand new perspective on what money is, and how you can reconnect to money’s original purpose which is to support you and your dreams. We will begin the process of stripping away the fear that keeps you focused on lack and begin to nurture a new sense of love and abundance.

Class #2 -- 11/1 - 2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

MONEY IS ENERGY – HOW YOU CAN DIRECT MONEY ENERGY INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT – RELEASING THE FEAR AND EMBRACING THE LOVE

This class will focus on money as energy, and you will learn a Light Energy meditation technique that will help you disconnect from your old dysfunctional relationship with money and begin to create a healthy new relationship money. You will begin to nurture the expectation that you truly deserve and are ready to live in prosperity.

Class #3 -- 11/8 - 2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

FORGIVING DEBT, RELEASING GUILT, RECEIVING ALLTHE MONEY YOU NEED – and DISCONNECTING FROM THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS AROUND THE ECONOMIC CRISIS. This class will focus on the Three Gs - Greed, Guilt or Gut. Using the techniques you have learned in the previous classes you will learn how to tune into how much money you actually need from a place of peace and trust. You will learn to release both guilt and greed, and using your gut (intuition), become attuned to your true level of wealth. You are a unique individual. Your wealth is not your neighbor’s wealth.

Class #4 – 11/15 - 2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

MONEY TO SUPPORT YOUR DREAMS

This class will take you into a deeper connection with your own life’s purpose so that you can begin to manifest the wealth that will support that purpose. You will learn that living a peaceful, joyful, and prosperous life is your birthright.

Click here to Register

New Beginnings

2011-08-31T18:04:00.000-06:00

Dear Fellow Travelers,

It's been about four months since I wrote to you. And what a four months it has been. When last I wrote, I was living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and asking for guidance for what my next step was to be. Santa Fe is a powerful transformation vortex, and during my two years there my lesson learning was intense, and the inner growth remarkable. I will share parts of that journey in future blog post/newsletters. But back to the beginning, so sometime in May shortly after my last post to you, I received my inner direction to move home to Los Angeles. I had been away for 17years, and now I was being called home. I had lived in Los Angeles for 27 years when I was guided to move to Boulder, Colorado in 1994. Those 15 years in Boulder and 2 in Santa Fe were filled with an immense amount of lesson learning, sharing the light, going bankrupt, major surgery, writing two books, creating my own Light Energy Healing modality and The Transformational Light Center, speaking, teaching, loving my husband, losing him through divorce, buying a home and finally selling it this year in a short sale, meeting a new love, and moving to live with him in New Mexico, finding myself in a relationship that took me into and through a dark journey that challenged me to step more and more fully into the Light and into my own sweet power, and ultimately out of the relationship. A pretty amazing 17 years.

And then one day in Santa Fe, after 9 months of healing and assimilating essence from the relationship journey, I heard the distinct whisper of my Soul. "It's time to go home." My heart burst open with joy. Go, home? I can go home? Tears began to stream from my eyes. I knew I missed L.A. But I had remained true to my word to go where I was guided, so I hadn't realized how homesick I'd been all those years. But now, my tears flowed with unfettered joy.

I was living in a friend's home while she was living in Toronto. She was coming back to live in Santa Fe in October, so I figured I'd stay in Santa Fe until October and in the meantime make plans to move to L.A. But that wasn't the Higher plan. Almost immediately I found myself working with my son,

My Son Sean
and Me

Sean, who lives in L.A., to find a home on Craigslist. He actually was the one who found my new home. I never saw it until the day I moved in. I just trusted him. He said, "Mom, you're going to love this place. It's beautiful, and it's got great energy." So, I said, okay. That was on June 8th. On June 18th I drove away from Santa Fe, with my dog Gage, and moved into my new home on June 20th.

Dry air and high altitudes are very hard on my particular physical structures. So Boulder at 5400 feet and Santa Fe at 7000 feet above sea level with desert conditions had challenged me greatly.

When I arrived at my new home, I couldn't believe the gift I had been given by the Divine Mother. A beautiful green lawn stretched in front of the building, a 1940s fourplex on the western edge of Bel-Air. The street was lined with Jacaranda trees in bloom with their purple flowers.. On my front lawn right outside my huge living room window were luscious Tree Ferns, and trimmed hedges, and a patio that stretched around the outside of my apartment. Out the back door was a sheer mountain side covered in purple flowers and palm trees. Bougainvillea spilled over the next door fence. The air was moist, and I realized that being 20 minutes from the ocean we got the sea breezes here. Inside it was small compared to the huge house I'd had in Santa Fe, but, it was all mine, and it was sweet, with a fireplace, and highly polished hardwood floors. It was perfect. And I was HOME.

Now, what next? Well, first of all getting the house set up, and then starting to remember how to live in a city of 7 million people. I love it. I love the people's energy here. Many years ago when I first came to live in L.A. in my early twenties, I hated it. It was smoggy and awful. Then one day after I had lived here for a couple of years, I was sitting all alone in Ben Franks, a coffee shop on Sunset Strip, and I heard a voice in my head saying, "I love L.A." I was shocked. I wondered who talked. Then I realized it was my true inner voice, and I did indeed Love L.A. So, I'm starting over. I'm beginning my new life in my old home in my mid-sixties.

What I do know for certain, is that gratitude is the bottom line. Each day, I wake up and am so incredibly grateful for what I have now, and all that I have had, no matter how difficult it has been in my whole life. All my broken hearts, and broken dreams, and all my lessons, all my lovers and all my really wonderful friends and all the really awful friends. Everything. My difficult family. My wonderful son. Every single thing. All the physical challenges. All the grief. All the love. All are gifts of this life. Life is the gift.

So, it's from here that I begin again. What will I do? I will continue to teach and heal with the LIGHT. I will begin to teach others to teach the Light work. I will take long walks every day. I will make new friends. I will continue to turn money into love. I will continue to help women face their fears and open their hearts to their power and their sweetness and their purpose. I will continue to help men connect to their enlightened masculine. I will probably write a couple more books. And I will love. I will love every single moment of every single day. And be present in the moment. Because it is in the present moment that all is love. All is perfect.

A new friend here in L.A., Alana Lea, said to me the other day. "Must be present to win!" And that's the truth. Love it.

I love you. I love all the beautiful people on this planet who are attempting to face their fears, open their hearts, and live in the Light of gratitude. I love all those who are still afraid to open their eyes to the possibilities. And I love the animals. Because it is the animals who connect us to our hearts. Domestic and wild. I heard a story today about a man who was heading down the stairs at the World Trade Center on 9/11 with his dog. The building was swaying and man let the leash go. His dog ran down the stairs in front of him, disappearing out of sight. The man continued on slowly. Soon his dog returned to get him, and the two emerged from the building safely together. Ahhh.

Here's a meditation

Take a deep breath. Breath into your belly and hold the breath. And release. Take another deep breath and breath down into your legs and feet. Hold it. And release. Take another deep breath and breath up into your brain and hold it. And release. Now, take one more deep breath and breath into your heart and hold it. And release. Return to your normal breathing as you ...

Experience being with your awareness in your heart and heart chakra. Become aware that there is a a beautiful Fuchsia colored Sun glowing in your heart and in your heart chakra. Experience that with each breath you take this Fuchsia Light expands out from your heart and out through your entire body. Then take a deep breath and expand the beautiful glowing Fuchsia Light past your body and into your energy field, filling your energy field.

Let this Fuchsia Light intensify throughout your body and field. Now, focus your attention on the Fuchsia light in your belly button. And become aware that this Fuchsia Light is moving out from your belly button creating a ribbon of light that drops down into the earth, and into the center of the Earth and to the Spirit of the Divine Mother reconnecting you to Her. And become aware that she is the giver of all the sweet abundance of the earth that is your birthright as Her divine daughter or son. She feeds you in every way, through this umbilical cord, with the energy of her luscious Fuchsia Light. This is where your wealth comes from. All She asks is for you to open your heart to Her. To allow Her to feed you, support you, heal you, and love you for all that you are and all that you are becoming.

Sit with this Light flowing up from Her richness into and throughout your entire physical, emotional, perceptual and mental bodies and energy fields.

Be aware throughout the day, whenever you are feeling unloved, or unsupported, or in anyway lacking, that the luscious loving abundance from the Divine Mother is flowing up and through you. You are filled with Fuchsia Light. You are the light.

Have a beautiful day.

Blessings my fellow travelers.

A Letter to a Dear Friend

2011-06-12T20:10:00.000-06:00

My student, Rowan Lynn, shared this with me. I was so moved that I wanted to share it with my readers.

Dear Friend,

You have been such a loyal friend. You have loved me and been there for me all this time. You carried my burdens for me: my stress, my trauma, my anger, my grief. No matter what you’ve been through, no matter how many times I failed you, you remained faithful and true to me, always doing your best to be there for me. You’ve gone through some very rough things and I wasn’t there for you in return. You’ve tried everything to get me to hear you and I treated you like you didn’t matter, even worse I treated you like you were the enemy. So now, I’d like to acknowledge your pain by telling you all the things I’m sorry for:

I’m sorry you were hurt. I’m sorry you weren’t loved or respected. I’m sorry you were used. I’m sorry you were forced. I’m sorry you were manipulated. I’m sorry you were abused by others and by me. I’m sorry you were ignored. I’m sorry you were taken advantage of and taken for granted. I’m sorry that things that were supposed to be beautiful and pleasurable experiences for you were turned into a nightmare that you’ve had to carry all these years. I’m sorry you missed out on so much of the good stuff. I’m sorry you lived in fear all this time. I’m sorry you had to feel alone and isolated all this time. I’m sorry you haven’t felt safe all this time. I’m sorry you’ve had to keep your guard up all this time. I’m sorry I’ve always been so critical of you. I’m sorry I’ve judged you harshly. I’m sorry I’ve been so impatient with you. I’m sorry I haven’t accepted you. I’m sorry I haven’t given you the love and nurturing you needed, yet still expected you to be perfect for me. I’m sorry I’ve had so much resentment towards you for not being exactly what I wanted you to be. I’m sorry I let other people’s shallow words and ideas influence my opinion of you. I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you. I’m sorry I didn’t let you feel free enough to express yourself. I’m sorry I never asked your opinion about anything. I’m sorry I tried to force you into submission instead of working WITH you. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see the truth.

Thank you for working so hard. Thank you for helping me through everything and being there for me always. Thank you for teaching me how to hear your wisdom. Thank you for going on this healing journey with me. Thank you for giving me so many chances to learn my lessons and for being so patient with me. You are so amazing. You are strong and beautiful just the way you are. I promise to stop doing things “to” you. From now on I will do things with you and for you and I will consider your opinions and feelings before I make any decisions that affect you.

I’m lucky to have you. I’m proud to be your friend. I will be here for you supporting you, encouraging you and protecting you always while we are together in this lifetime. You are my body and I love you.

Yours truly,

~Rowan Lynn

The Prince and Princess, the Evil Prince and the Hero

2011-05-07T20:34:00.001-06:00

Over the Weekend beginning Friday the 29^th of April, and ending on Sunday the 1^st of May, 2011 we witnessed two archetypal events, one in the bright sunshine of a London morning and the other in the dark of night in Pakistan. From the marriage of the archetypal Prince and Princess to the slaying of the Evil Prince in the far off land by the avenging Hero, we watched, and experienced a deep healing in the collective consciousness. These two events could be no more different, and yet they are part of a huge shift in human consciousness. When we recognize that we, the human family, are part of one great entity whose story we are all in the process of living, then we can step back and marvel at the beauty and the mystery of what we are all in the process of becoming and relinquishing.

When I speak of symbols and archetypes, let me first explain for those who have a tendency to scoff at the silly women and some men who were caught up in the “fairytale wedding” (actually 2.5 billion people, men and women, watched the Royal Wedding worldwide), that stories, and most especially myths and fairy tales, are not fanciful tales told just for children. Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell, and Jean Houston, among others have helped us to understand that these - stories, myths, fairytales - derive from our deep collective subconscious, and were understood in ancient cultures, and even now in modern-day indigenous cultures to have the power to heal and transform.

A good friend of Carl Jung, Laurens van der Post, a philosopher as well as a medical doctor, and citizen of South Africa, went into the bush country often to care for the sick in the bush tribes. At one point he was unable to travel to the tribes for several months. When he finally was able to visit he found everyone happy and healthy. He asked if anyone had been ill while he was away and was told, yes, a few people had been sick. He apologized for not being there to help and asked what they had done to heal the sick people. They responded him, “We just told them a story.”

In our modern global culture, our stories are played out on television and the internet for all of us to hear and heal through. So, when 2.5 billion of us, which represents over one third of the world’s population, watch the Royal Wedding, something pretty big in our collective consciousness is being acted out, not just for few people who are playing the archetypal roles, but for the cultural collective consciousness.

Of course the stories we saw last weekend did not begin then. These particular parts of our collective stories/fairytales/myths started thirty years ago when another prince and princess wed. On that day, when the fairy tale princess arrived in her royal coach to the Royal Wedding chapel, the world cheered. This was the answer to all our woes. The world culture was in the process of a transition from a male dominated culture, and the growing pains were acute. The prince finding and marrying his princess was a comfortable old story that we could nestle back into. This old story was about an older prince who would be the dominating force over his young princess. They would live happily ever after, and we could stop this nonsense of women stepping into power next to men. This princess was a shy girl whom we all adored. She didn’t threaten the old order-a fairytale, a symbol, of the old ways. Perfect. But alas, all was not as it seemed. The shy princess did not like having her rights taken away from her. She did not like that her prince was in love with his mistress. She did not like her children being raised by the prince’s mother, the queen. And though she was shy, and though she was young, and though she was very wounded, she stood up against the old order. And we collectively stood up with her. She became known as “The People’s Princess” because she was the symbol, the archetype for all the women in the world who were standing up and saying “no” to the old order, and the men who were standing with them. And no one person in the world was more loved than she. Why? Because we loved the Princess Dianna within ourselves. We, who felt a little uneasy about these steps we were taking to bring parity to our society, saw her struggling like we were struggling. We saw her stumble, and we saw her stand up again. We saw her stand up for her two young sons and fight for what she knew was right for them. And we saw her love them. And we loved how she loved them. And that helped us, as we loved our children.

And then the worst of the story happened in 1997, seventeen years after the fairytale began, the Princess, died. Was killed in a crash. And we mourned. We mourned for weeks. Billions of us. Because we felt we had made great strides. She was living the life she chose, even though she was thrown out of the palace. Out of the old order. She had become more than ever Our Princess. She was still doing her kind and caring work in the world. She was still raising her sons with love. So, when she died, our hearts broke, not just for Our Princess, but for the hope that she represented within each of us. The hope of a new kind of world. A world based on love, caring, and kindness.

It was a terrible time.

Then something interesting happened in the fairytale Royal family, and let me just pause her for a moment to address those who say that Britain’s Royal Family has no real purpose. My dear ones, they are playing out an extremely important part our evolutionary story. But let me go on. Something new began to transpire in the fairytale family. The prince, who had been a mean prince who stood for the old-order, suddenly gained a backbone, and he stood up against the queen and demanded that he marry the woman whom he had loved long before he married the shy princess at the order of the queen. The queen acquiesced. She was learning something from all of this. Excellent. This was a reflection of letting down old barriers throughout our entire culture. And as the prince stood up for love in his life, he was able to begin paying attention to his young sons, and he even began to love them. This was an extraordinary transformation. Men in our culture have not traditionally taken over the care and love of their children when the wife has died. The new wife would have that job. Also, at this time we were beginning to see men paying more attention to their children, and giving them more love. This was not as heavily publicized as the change in women’s roles was, but it was happening and still is happening worldwide. But like the prince’s new care for his sons, which included taking them out of the public eye and protecting them, men and their new caretaking of their children was a quiet shift in the collective consciousness.

A few years after the death of Our Princess, another larger than life event took place in our global story. This story also started in the 1980s with the explosion of new wealth, money as God, and “greed is good.” Materialism, consumerism, the dot com boom. “The economic bubble.” The rich were getting richer and the poor were getting poorer. Then in 2001an evil prince from a far off land, attacked the great symbol of this economy gone crazy, and subsequently killed thousands of innocent people. (Were they innocent if they worked in the Towers, or were they complicit in the story of greed?). So after the event that happened on September 11, 2001 people worldwide stood up for the people who were killed in the towers, the symbol of economic greed, because those people were us. They were the part of us, who had been complicit in the greedy consciousness. And millions of us sent money from our hearts to the families of those who died, to the survivors, and to the brave police and firefighters. This archetypal moment was a demonstration of the truth within the hearts of the people, that love and caring, the consciousness of a new order, were beginning to emerge through the dense fog of the era of greed.

But as the story progressed, fear gripped the homeland of the fallen towers, and the old order again took a firm hold. Wars were fought to rid the world of the evil prince who had killed the innocents. Many more innocents died. The old order was getting all the story points, but the new order continued to simmer under all the noise and the guns and the terror. A new hero was beginning to arise in the land of the fallen towers. Not a prince, but a commoner, one so common that his skin was the wrong color for the old order, but a hero, who upheld the belief in peace and fairness.

For ten years the Evil Prince in the far off land was the symbol or archetype for all that was bad in the world. Was he really the most evil of all people? Perhaps, but, but no matter, he was playing the part of the Evil Prince in the great human story that was unfolding. The evil prince must be killed. But should so many others be killed in what the collective was beginning to see as senseless wars based on greed, and the old order? The new hero, who was emerging thought not.

Now, we arrive at the weekend of April 30-May 1, 2011. The Fairytale wedding of a new prince. The prince who was born to Our Princess. The prince who was loved by his mother and father and taught to honor his wonderful mother, the archetype of the new emerging strong, kind, and caring mother, powerful in her feminine-ness, not in her hardness. He, the oldest of Our Princess’s sons, met and fell in love, not with a princess, but with a commoner. Alas, something forbidden to princes in the past, including the young prince’s father. But now, as Our Princess’s son, he stood up for what he believed in. And the queen, the old order, said, Yes. The bride-to-be of the young prince was very sure of herself. She knew who she was. She was the daughter of a successful business woman, college educated, and she and the prince had been together for nine years as lovers. Horror of horrors to the old order. Perfectly natural and smart to the new. And so they wed. They wed, the son of Our Princess and the beautiful, smart, commoner. And it was a Royal Wedding observed by 2.5 billion people who cheered across the world, for the archetypal happy ending to our story. The story of men and women coming together, not in the old way, but in the new. Balanced and loving, the woman and the man being honored in the match. Of course, the happy ending isn’t a sure thing. But for now it is the best we’ve got. Because this is our cultural developing story.

Meanwhile back in the land of the fallen towers, the new hero, a man of color and integrity, became the leader of the country with promises to bring peace to the world. Little did he know how invested the old order was in war and fear. But he persevered. It would take some time to end the wars, but there was one thing that he could do. As a hero, in the story of the people of the fairytale land known as The Earth, he must slay the evil prince, who represented the evil of the entire Land.

And so two days after the prince and princess were married, the hero slew the evil prince, without war, without thousands being killed.

These two events are the symbols of our greater emerging consciousness. These are the main characters of our own psyches. They are not to be scoffed at with cynical derision. They are to be honored as the characters of our own evolving natures. And the evolving consciousness of our world. Are there still unbalanced marriages? Of course. Are there still evil people threatening the peace of the world? Of course. But the rejoicing of billions of people at the happy marriage and the end of a purveyor of terrorism helps escalate the healing and shifting within ourselves and within our collective consciousness. These stories are our stories of our consciousness evolving, told not by a story teller of old, but by the story tellers of the new era on our televisions and computers and cell phones throughout the lands.

We were not rejoicing at the wedding of a Royal Prince and Princess. We were rejoicing at the new archetype of marriage. We were not rejoicing at the death of a man in a Pakistani compound, we were rejoicing at the archetype of the end of evil in the world.

We are all part of this great story of the human race. The story lives inside of us and outside of us in the archetypal events and characters. Everything is a reflection of our inner lives. Rejoice. The Prince and Princess may just live happily ever after. And the evil prince is most certainly dead.

Explore inside yourself. How are these archetypes evolving within you?

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New White Light Meditation Video

This week I recorded a new meditation on Youtube.

In this meditation I address the idea of using

the White Light for protection as well as healing

Click here to watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu_FQhgPw9U

Choose Love

2011-04-10T21:59:00.003-06:00

This is the beginning of the new era. Many are saying that we are finally in the birth canal heading toward the great shift in human consciousness, and that it will be born on December 22, 2012. The Mayan Calendar ends on December 21, 2012. But I’m telling you as a woman who has birthed a child, by the time that child is in the birth canal, you know s/he’s present. There still may be a few more pushes, and the pain is excruciating, but there is no doubt that s/he’s a vital and living being. And that is what I feel we are experiencing right now.

But we must not fear the pain, we must embrace it the way the birthing mother embraces the pain, because she knows that it will end, and there will be a new life on the other side of the pain.

Everything right now seems to be out of whack. Nothing seems the same. Nothing is. We are living at the end of an era which will never return. We can choose to live in fear of what the future will bring, or we can choose to live in Love and Light. We are being asked to leap with faith into the NEW without having the foggiest idea of what the NEW is.

But if we choose Love, the power of our conscious choice for Love can only create more Love. And so as we choose Love we are throwing a lifeline created from Love out in front of us to hold onto as we move forward with the power of Love into a future of our choice, which can only be Love.
If we are in fear, and allow the fear to be our strongest motivator, then there is no lifeline to hold onto.

Yes, I know it’s scary. I know many people are in dire financial straits. Relationships are falling apart, sickness and loss are part of so many people’s lives. And the recent Tsunami in Japan is horrific, as well as the wars and uprisings around the world. But in the midst of all of this are signs of spring, of new life, of new found courage and strength, and people coming together to help one another. Loving one another is the answer, no matter what our differences.

We must stop hating right now! It is imperative. There is no more time for hate. Hate is just a byproduct of fear. When you choose Love over fear, hate melts away.

Forgiveness is imperative now. Forgiveness comes from the very center of LOVE. Forgiveness comes from compassion. Compassion comes from opening our hearts to our brothers and sisters all over this world. Take some time to think about someone that you have strong disagreement with, or someone you feel hate or anger towards, and then do a little meditation in which you imagine walking in their shoes. Then allow your heart to open to understanding , and voila! Compassion!

This is difficult, of course, but it is imperative now. I hear you saying, YES, BUT! Yes, but he hurt me so much. Yes, but she is so selfish. Yes, but he stole my money. Yes, but they blew up the World Trade Center. They created an illegal war. They bankrupted the country.

All of those YES, BUTS are rational. Hating is rational. Loving is irrational. It is a time for great irrationality. Has the world become a better place by hating each other, killing each other? Has one war ever brought lasting peace? Has hating one person ever made your life better?

It’s time. It’s time to Love no matter what. Love - not sappy greeting card love - Love that comes from the center of the Divine universe and channeled through you.

Love powers the entire universe. Choose it, and I promise you will never regret it.

We must have some way to connect with the great Love of the Divine, and what has been incredibly powerful for me is to meditate daily with the White Light to help strip away the fear, anxiety, and stress that cause us to be out of the flow of Love. So, I’ve begun making White Light Meditation Videos to share with you.

This week’s meditation video is focused on helping release fear, anxiety and stress specifically. It is called appropriately enough

White Light Meditation – Releasing Fear and Anxiety

Click her to view the Video Meditation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1eKHSjoGE8

Remember that you are a Divine child of this Divine Universe. You have the power to choose Love and Light. You can create a lifeline of Love to throw out ahead of you each day. You are a Great Being of Light.
I Love you.
With hugs of Light,
Barbara

Open Your Heart to the Power of the Light

2011-03-19T00:21:00.000-06:00

Tonight we are moving into an amazing weekend, the Full Moon and the Spring Equinox. It is also an extremely powerful time because of the great shift in human consciousness. Instead of writing about it, I've made a video about it. Please click on the link to view the video.
Wishing a joyous and powerful Spring Equinox.

Barbara

FINDING THE LOVE IN THE CHAOS

2011-02-27T09:34:00.001-07:00

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. It truly is. It may seem like everything is falling to pieces. And yes, it is. But in the center of the chaos is the burgeoning new world consciousness. This is the time we have been waiting for, dreaming of. We are finally, actually crossing over the threshold into the new era - the era of Goodwill, Joy, and Abundance for all. The demonstrations in the streets will succeed – are succeeding. The collective human consciousness is lifting into a higher vibration – the vibration of universal LOVE. Love with all those capital letters. Not romantic love, but the love that created the universe and drives it constantly. The love that includes All. All people. All living beings. All planets. All stars. We are part of this oneness, and we have reached a moment in our evolutionary progress that allows us to expand into the vast Love, and experience it in our own small, but not insignificant lives.
The collective consciousness of humanity has been vibrating at the frequency of fear for a very long time. With the higher vibration of love shaking the old fear based culture to its core and causing what seems like chaos, it is easy to cling more desperately to the old fear based cultural norm. But it won’t help. It will only make the fear grow stronger. And by resisting the natural shift up into the higher vibration of Love, Goodwill, Joy, and Abundance for ALL – by clinging to the belief that things must be put back the way they were – will cause nothing but unhappiness, depression, and in the most extreme cases mental breakdown.
The antidote for this is to surrender to Love. And surrender to the ride of a lifetime. Or more correctly, lifetimes. There has never been a time like this before. So, trusting that all will shift up into the high frequency of Love is almost impossible to believe. Because to believe it, we must let go of what past experience has taught us, and find a place deep in our hearts that knows that this is the truth.
It’s not easy to write this; because I also have past experience that tells me that it can’t be happening. That I can't let go of the wounds that have driven my life up to this point in time. But I am guided to write this by a deep inner knowing that comes from a place outside of normal life experience. And that is where we all must go to connect to the beauty of this shift up into the new vibration of love.
The way to connect to this vibration of love is to meditate daily, so that you can begin to experience the vibration of love and not fear.
I recommend doing a meditation that includes infusing yourself with the LIGHT. The Light is the carrier of Divine intelligence that emanates from the Divine LOVE. Therefore, by infusing yourself with the LIGHT, you are infusing yourself with the Divine LOVE, and at the same time being taught by the LIGHT how to become the LOVE. You are naturally a Being of Light. It is through meditating with the light that you become more and more aware of it.
I have recorded a video that is now on YouTube in which I guide a WHITE LIGHT MEDITATION that you can incorporate into your daily life to help you surf the giant waves of this chaotic and exciting time and become more and more at peace with the shift. Here is the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0wcmzlTkik

I wish for you, that you may have an open heart to be able to receive the goodness that is pouring forth from our Divine Universe, and discover your own magnificent inner LIGHT and LOVE.

2011-02-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday. So, of course I am celebrating the joyousness of another year on this wonderful planet. Because I am so happy to be celebrating my birthday, I mentioned the fact in an email to my publisher Sarah Portsmouth at Cygnus Books in the UK. She wrote back and told me that today was her brother's birthday also, and she shared the following letter that her brother wrote to his friends and family just before his birthday, 2/17/2002. I wanted to share it with all of you.

To all family and friends: Hi everyone.

As you know, I will shortly be reaching an important milestone in life, my 50th birthday. I expect many of you have been wondering what on earth to do, what to buy me, what I could want, what you could afford, etc. etc. Well, worry no more. I know the feeling. The fact is, I really don’t need anything else but there’s one thing you could do for me that would be much better than any gift, and make the world a little bit better in the process.

All I ask is that you do something for someone who needs a little help, something to cheer someone up a bit, something, large or small, to make the world just a little bit brighter on my special day. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Just invite the old lady next door round for a cup of tea, drop a few coins in a collecting tin or send back that Oxfam envelope with the free pen. If you’re only little then try to be as good as you can all day.

Help Mum. Tidy your room. All I ask is that you think of something to make life easier for someone, to bring a little bit of happiness into their life, then go do it, whatever it is, large or small. Use your imagination.

The most important thing is, whatever you do, don’t tell anyone, most of all me. I don’t want to know. I have all the happiness I could ever fit into life. Let’s share it.

There’s one more thing, though. If you decide to do something for someone on my special day, and at Christmas, please send me a card. Write whatever you want, but so that I know you did something for someone somewhere, just put two little words at the end. Just write ‘I remembered’. That’s all. If every birthday and every Christmas I get a card like that from each of you and nothing else, and I stress I want nothing else, then that is the best present I could ever get, to think that on my special day this little idea of mine is making the world just a little bit better for those less fortunate than myself, simply because you are celebrating me. I don’t have to do anything. All I need to do is sit and watch those cards come in, knowing that each one, because of me, is making the world that little bit brighter.

What better present could I want? There isn’t one. Who knows, it might catch on. We need a name for it. How about ‘Birthday Aid’?

Malcolm

Malcolm Robertson passed away on 02/10/2006, aged 54 years. I would love you to spread his message as far and wide as possible. If you wish, you could send your 'I remembered' cards to me at Cygnus, but I think he will know, wherever he is, without any cards.

With love,
Sarah Portsmouth
Cygnus Books

Feeling Safe In A Shifting World

2011-01-04T13:33:00.001-07:00

As we step into this powerful year of change, 2011, we are being asked to go to the depths of our being to ferret out all that stands in the way of our brilliant and shining true selves. Because 2011 is the end that prepares us for the new beginning in 2012, we are being asked to let go of old belief systems that we have held personally for our entire lives, and collectively for thousands of years. I know that many of you are aware of this and are making great headway. I know I am. But when we let go of the old, even the old that has been our greatest enemy, there is still a twinge of fear, like the rug is being pulled out from under us. The old ways kept us believing we were safe, though of course we weren't. Our true safety comes from our connection to love, and nothing more or less. And when I say love you know that I am talking about the Great Love that generates and powers the universe - or is the universe. But that Great Love is a little difficult to cuddle up with.

Personally, I have never in my life felt safe. I was sexually molested by my father from infancy. My mother, who lost her mother to scarlet fever when she was five years old and was then sent into foster care, lost her boyfriend in a car accident at 21, and lost her first child at three years old, when she was 25, never felt safe. Her fear that I would die kept me from feeling safe with her as well. Her pain of loss and her fear of not ever being safe translated into incredible anger which she focused on me. I had no grandmothers or aunts or older sisters, or anyone in my childhood who created a safe place for me. I have managed to connect with the Divine throughout my life, which has been my saving grace. I started going to church by my own choice and walking the six blocks all alone when I was four years old. But as much as God or Goddess or the Divine Universe is perfect love, it is not a place to snuggle.

My connection to this divinity in the universe and within myself has been what has protected me, supported me and fueled my work throughout my life, and I would have it no other way. But on New Years Day, 2011, I received a miracle. A miracle that is so sweet that the taste of it is salty like tears of joy.

As I was doing my morning meditation, my mother's mother, who has been dead since 1920, appeared to me, not as a vision so much as her actual self coming through the veils from the other side. I am quite sure that Einstein is correct and that time is simultaneous. So, with that in mind, it was like we were simply connecting without the veil of linear time separating us. ... And then she spoke to me. She said, "I'm so glad to see you my granddaughter. I have wanted to be with your for a very long time."

Having said that she cuddled me on her lap, and I felt like I was a little girl again, being held in the arms of my loving grandma. We laughed and talked together for a long time. Her name is Nellie McCarthy, and she was born in New York City in Harlem, which was the Irish ghetto at the time she was born in the 1880s. She was one of those strong Irish women who worked and remained single long into her twenties, because she didn't want to marry a man who would drink up her hard-earned money and then treat her badly. When she was 29 or 30 years old she had enough money to take a vacation. She was daring and bold, and took a train, all alone, from New York to California. And it was in a little town in northern California that she met my grandfather at a party that she was invited to by strangers. Ah hah. Here was where I got my daring, my courage. My Grandfather was a Scotsman, strong, solid and dependable, and very handsome. Nellie McCarthy went home to New York, packed her bags and moved to California to become Mrs. Francis Murch. Together they homesteaded 20,000 acres in Siskiyou County, the home of Mt. Shasta, the coldest wildest part of California, and began a family.

I remember my mother telling me how much her mother missed the opera. She and her father went to the opera together in New York and sat in the five cent seats at the very top of the highest balcony. She brought a wind-up Victrola with her to her wild new home and played her opera recordings. My mother remembered her love for Enrico Caruso, the Italian tenor. My mother also recalled that the pioneer life was very hard on her and that she often longed for her city home.

Now, on the first day of 2011, Nellie McCarthy was holding me in her ample lap, telling me that I would always be safe. She told the little girl, Barbara, who had been shunned by the mean girls at school, that she was wonderful and that she didn't have to worry about what those mean girls did, because her grandma loved her. That was, I realized, all I ever needed. Just a grandma. A loving, caring grandma, and now, by a miracle of time, I had her here in my bedroom. And she told me she was here for good. No more feeling unsafe, I had a grandma to give me the succor and safety that I never had before.

It felt and continues to feel remarkably real and absolutely lovely. You who have or have had loving grandmothers can understand what this feeling of being loved by a grandma is. It's like nothing else. There is a strength that is at once gentle and powerful, encompassing me in its sheath of unconditional and unencumbered love.

As we snuggled together many things that I had wondered about all my life became startling clear. I was born into a rather bland middle class Republican family in Sacramento, California. But from the time I was eight years old, when I discovered there was a New York City, I longed to go there and even announced to my parents that there had been a mistake, and we should be living in New York. They just smiled at me indulgently, but I knew they were shaking their heads about their very weird child. When my mother was angry with me, which was often, she would say, "All I prayed for was a normal child and I got you!" Luckily for her my brother came along, who was relatively normal. But even though she didn't get me, she eventually bought me a subscription to the New Yorker Magazine.

I was crazy for the New York theatre and read up on all the new shows opening on Broadway. I had a map of Manhattan on my bedroom wall. Yes, I was a teeny bit precocious, which my mother was at the same time proud and ashamed about. Now, as I sat with my Grandma, who longed to be back in New York while homesteading in the bitter cold wilderness, I realized that I held her yearning in my cellular consciousness. Wow! One puzzle solved. And all the rest of my New York stuff throughout my life started to fall into place. For instance people from New York always think I am a New Yorker. I always figured it was because I look or seem kind of Jewish, but no, it is because I am my Grandma's granddaughter. I am a New Yorker in my hereditary soul. Three times I have moved to NYC, and three times the city has spit me out and sent me back to the west. Just a couple of years ago I was apartment hunting on Craigslist in Manhattan, when circumstances moved me to New Mexico instead. A far cry from NYC. Then this morning I remembered being in New York in 1982 with my boyfriend, a lifelong resident of Manhattan. We were in the Village when suddenly I began to cry and couldn't stop. I thought it was because I never fulfilled my dream of being an actress on Broadway, (I did make it to Off-Broadway in 1970, but never Broadway) but the crying came from a deeper place, a greater loss. And now I know it was my Grandma crying through me for her lost home.

As I write this my grandma is sitting across from me knitting, and listening to me tell our story to you. And she is smiling a smile of love and pride that warms my heart. I just want to thank the universe for being so magnificent to allow my grandma to come to me through the layers of time and teach me what it's like to really truly feel loved and safe. Now, I can do anything in this unsafe, changing world. I can feel the love of the great universe now more powerfully than ever before, because it is being expressed through the human heart of a real person, my grandma.

The Economy of Love vs. The Economy of Fear

2010-11-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday morning in Santa Fe, New Mexico. The mercury is hovering somewhere around 28 degrees Fahrenheit, and the sun is shining brilliantly. As I was doing my meditation, I was struck by the underlying fear that seems to permeate everything in the media these days. This is not a new condition in the world, but because of our technology we are connected 24/7 to the fear mongers and the harbingers of doom. There are many brave voices also that speak about hope and a new era approaching. But so often they are the softer voices with much less media coverage. Even Oprah, whom I admire greatly, highlights fear on her shows at times.

The biggest fear that seems to consume most of the media and most of the population, is the fear around the financial situation, because the great economies (translate - the rich countries) of the world seem to be going broke. Why they are going broke is based on fear, corruption, and greed. What if there really is a simple answer to how we can transform the economic crisis? What if all we have to do is to stop being afraid? What if the answer is within each and every one of us, and not dependent on any looming institution?

Greed and corruption can only exist where fear is present. When people - not corporations, but people, for every institution on Earth is run by people - are afraid they will lose what they have, they tend to close their fists around what they do have and then invest most of their time and energy on keeping what they have and finding ways to get more.

The fear that we will die if we don't have enough is omnipresent as long as fear is the most prevalent emotion. But there are people who live quite simply and comfortably in the midst of this fear-storm. Who are they? Are they the very rich? Though that would seem to be the case, it isn't necessarily so for all the wealthy, because many of the wealthiest are the very people who created the corruption and the destruction of the economy. And they did it, and do it, because they fear losing what they have - money and power. So, their fear has led to greed and corruption. But what about the rest of the human population? Are we just poor simple pawns in the hands of the multi-national coporations, which are led by powerful greedy people? I don't think so.

I think we are all powerful beings who have individual power and collective power that can, and I truly believe will, transform this greedy culture into a culture of abundance for all. But we won't do it by trying to help restore the "halcyon days of the 80s and 90s," because that was not a true abundant culture. That was a greed and corruption based culture, where the rich got richer and the poor got poorer. One sixth of the world's population, that is one billion people, live on less that $1 a day, and another billion live on less than $2 a day.

The transformation will come, and is coming, as one by one we stop listening to the fear mongers and become the harbingers of a new way. A way based on love and abundance for all. And to do this we must stop feeling like we are helpless victims of the powers of greed and corruption, and tune into the magnificent truth of the universe. And that truth is that Love is the power that overcomes fear, and thus greed and corruption, and that as each of us, one person and one moment at a time, steps out of fear and slips into the great stream of Love that powers the entire universe, we are free to be abundant. We are all free to live in the flow of love and joy and true prosperity. It is a choice. Yes, a hard choice to make when fear is the loudest voice in the crowd, and the illusion is that you will lose everything.

And yes, it is always possible that you may lose everything, but if you own your own soul, if you stop thinking that you have no power over the evil beast and go instead on the quest for your own magnificent hero within your soul, you will not be the victim of the beast any longer. You will be the hero of your life and have all that you need.
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And here's a little thought. What if you didn't give a damn if you were in debt? What if that fear didn't consume so much of your energy?
More on that next time.
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In the meantime, remember that there is always someone in the world who has less than you have. Reach out and give one of those people a hand and feel the love that surges between you both. That is where the power is - in the surges of love, not the cringes of fear.

11:11

2010-11-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

As I tuned in this morning and connected energetically with all the people around the planet who are co-visioning a new world - a world based on love and caring for one another - I was struck by the enormous power we have in the simplicity of our intentions. I began to think about what I hold onto in my life that is contrary to a world based on love and caring. And some of those things, most of them, are masked in what I have in the past considered love and caring. I realized that the way I love my son, which is profoundly, is hindered by old patterns that we created when he, who is now 45, was 4 years old. It was that year that I split up with his father. And I felt so guilty for taking his father away from him that patterns of resentment and guilt were set up, not only in my consciousness, but also in his. And from that moment on, as much as we loved each other, these old patterns continued to inform all of our communication, no matter how much we have tried to overcome them. Both my son and I are lifelong meditators and lightworkers, and yet, we continue to hold onto the blame, resentment, and guilt because these patterns are so old that we, or at least I, couldn't see them clearly. It was if I were seeing them through "a glass darkly," or like shadows, buried in a kind of sentimentality that pretends to be true emotion. So, for my part today, on 11:11 when a million or more people around the world are linking our hearts and minds and spirits to create, through our intentions, a healthy new world, I make it my intention to let go of all resentment, blame and guilt I have in my personal relationships and replace those old patterns with pure love. Love that is not conditional. Love that is not sentimental. Love that has no expectations. No agenda. Just love.

In the Eye of the Storm - My Dad and the Great Depression

2010-10-10T21:20:00.000-06:00

I began thinking this morning about my father, Ernie Coulson. He was quite a man, as they would have said about him back in his day. Ernie would be 110 years old this year. He was born on Christmas Day 1899. The very end of the century before last. Kind of a trippy thought. He said things to me like, Never invest in the stock market. - To have a vision for the future you must know history. - Nothing is constant but change. - Give ‘em enough rope and they’ll hang themselves. We had very few long conversations, my daddy and I, but his pithy remarks and his life story molded me into the person I am today.

His friends always said, “Yep, Ernie Coulson told us it would work out this way twenty years ago.” A visionary in a grey flannel suit. A man who was too young (just barely) for WWI and too old for WWII. A man who drove a Model T Ford from Missouri to California on dirt roads. He told me about a sign he saw in Texas that said, “Pick your rut you’ll be in it for the next fifty miles.” My daddy hated ruts. He loved being carefree.

He had his degree in business, but that didn’t keep him tied down. In the 1920s and into the ‘30s he did the accounting for many of the brothels on Cannery Row in Monterey, California. It was a very lucrative business. The madams loved him, and I’m sure he loved them too in his way, a little detached, but appreciative. I actually worked for one of those madams in the 1960s, but she no longer had a brothel. She owned the Amador Hotel, a restaurant and cabaret, in an old mining town in Northern California, where I sang and danced on weekends. Her name was Grace Chaney, and she was married to Lon Chaney Sr.’s brother George. When my father walked in opening night, her face lit up. “Ernie Coulson, you old dog,” she said, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She almost kissed him, but pulled back demurely when she noticed my very proper mother standing behind my father glaring at her.

But let me go back to that time when my father was fancy free. The Great Depression had descended upon the country. Long lines of people trying to find work, trying to find food, losing their homes. But my daddy wasn’t in any of those lines. He didn’t come from great wealth, and believe me, very few of the rich suffered during the Great Depression. He was just a guy from humble beginnings, on his own, living in Northern California and having a hellava good time. He drove a dark green Auburn roadster convertible. He lived in the Senator Hotel, Sacramento’s luxury hotel, just across the street from the State Capitol. He owned four hundred suits (I know, hard to believe) and had a personal valet. He hung out with his cronies -- politicians, businessmen, and a famous boxer, Max Bear -- in a restaurant called Bedell’s, down the block from his hotel. He was a man about town. By this time he had let most of his Cannery Row clients go, and was teaching at the Sacramento Business College. He walked with a swagger, and smoked a pipe. He wore his fedora cocked jauntily to the left. Women were crazy for him. But my mother snagged him.

My daddy never suffered from the Great Depression. He knew instinctively how to live in the eye of the storm. I think it was his philosophy taken from Socrates, There is nothing constant but change, and his vision -- his ability to see what was coming next. He didn’t let himself get stuck in the common knowledge that all was lost. He surfed the Great Depression. He lived with a sense of joie de vivre and non-attachment. He didn’t own much, just his suits and his car. If he lost those he knew he would still be himself. He lived in the moment. He didn’t fear the future, because he was immersed in the present. But even as he was focused in the present, he also had this vision of a prosperous America in the future. He saw the 1950s in the 1930s. His friends counted on him for this vision.

Because I am the daughter of Ernie Coulson, visionary, I have been blessed with this ability to relax in the present, without attachment to possessions, and see the future. Again, we are in a financial crisis. But as Ernie Coulson’s daughter, I know that there is nothing constant but change. That there is a bright and prosperous future coming soon. And that if I stay in the present moment, hang out with my friends, have a good time, and don’t invest in the stock market, all will be well.