This appeared in the Daily Soul Retreat today.  I thought I'd share it here on my blog as well.  

Empty Your Backpack and Claim Your Power by Barbara Wilder

Recent studies have revealed that school children develop long term back pain from carrying heavy backpacks.  Like children with back packs all people carry a heavy load of past traumas, hurts, disappointments, losses, and grief.  And what I have been noticing in my practice is that most of my clients not only have stored all these past miseries in their consciousnesses, and deep in their cells and molecules, they have also created an oversized psychic backpack in which to haul them around.

A lot of my clients, like so many people in our society, have been working on their psyches and their emotional growth for some time.  Many of them have done various kinds of therapy and have come to me to help them tofinally heal.  My particular form of transformational therapy uses light energy to reveal and then shift the shadow material and burn it up, leaving behind only the essence or the nuggets of truth that each of life’s challenges hold.  But our highly psychoanalyzed society has put such a heavy degree of importance on the work with the inner-child that we have forgotten that the inner-child needs to grow up eventually and become integrated into the healthy adult.  Instead, I find many people so engrossed with their inner-child and parenting their inner-child that they have become over-indulgent, giving away their adult personal power to the wounded child.

In my book, Embracing Your Power Woman, I teach women to reconnect with their teenage selves, in order to unlock the door to their second half of life purpose.  To do this they must delve into the traumas, hurts, disappointments, and shattered dreams from their teenage years, embrace them, and love them into healing, so that they can move through the dark passage of menopause into the light of their true purpose.  But again, I often find women wanting to hold onto the pain instead of lifting up into the light of higher frequency, by pushing through, or diving down through the muck to come out the other side in the light.  How much easier it is to coddle the wounded child’s tantrums, than to love her while simultaneously expecting her to heal through that love and come to stand on her/his own.

We humans actually prefer to stay in the old familiar patterns than push through into joy.  Perhaps this is because joy is such strange new territory, and whatever is unfamiliar is frightening.  But what if we could experience the joy?  Would we still want to go back to the old patterns of worry, and pain, and anxiety?  For many people the answer is, yes.  For some people joy seems fleeting, ephemeral.  Worry, anxiety, unhappiness, and drama seem more real in this world of illusion.

My grown son, Sean, and I have talked often about the necessity to dive deep into the darkness and continue until we come out on the other side to discover the light.  One day he called me from Cancun where he was vacationing.  He had gone snorkeling in a lagoon that afternoon with a couple of young women he’d met.  As they dove down into the lagoon Sean saw what looked like a corridor that he felt might lead somewhere interesting.  When he and his friends surfaced he said he was going to dive down there and check out where that corridor led and asked if they would like to join him.  They rejected his offer and he dove by himself.  The deeper he went the darker it got, and he was close to running out of breath.  Then just as he was about to return to the surface, he heard a voice in his heart reminding him that when diving deep you must continue through the darkness.  So he kept going.  Suddenly, he saw light above him and swam toward it.  As he reached the surface, he saw that he had come up inside an underground cave with beams of sunlight shining through breaks in the ceiling of the cave.  The light danced on the water and glinted off the walls.  The water was the purest aqua color he’d ever seen.  He felt like he had discovered paradise.  He was so glad he’d listened to his inner voice that reminded him that to find joy one must continue to dive down when in the darkest place.

But to dive deep and find the light on the other side you must trust your own path.  You must know how to hear the voice of your spirit and differentiate between it and the voices of your wounded child or its extension, your fear driven ego.  The less pain you have in your backpack and the more essence you have in the pouch in your heart, the easier it is to hear the voice of your spirit.

One of my clients, MaryLee, a lovely woman in her early forties, was quite agitated recently after making the decision to attend her high school reunion.  She has suffered all of her life from low self-esteem as the middle child who could never live up to her older sister’s popularity and success.  MaryLee is very bright, attractive, talented, and an immensely loving and caring person, but this lack of self-esteem had kept her living in her sister’s shadow and taking her abuse for far too long.  When she came to see me, she had almost no sense of self.   So, the fact that she had decided to attend her high school reunion after just a few months of therapy was very brave and represented a giant step in her work.  She came for a session the day before she left, and, though she was nervous, she realized after we talked for a bit that part of her nervousness was the old expectation that she should be nervous.  By the time she left, she was in high spirits looking forward to both the Friday night cocktail party and the Saturday night main event.   

Then on Saturday morning I received an email.  The subject line read, “Not what I expected.”  She had been to the first event and was terribly disheartened, reporting that most people didn’t even remember who she was, and that those who did either called her by her sister’s name or asked her, not about herself, but about her sister.  I could see that three months of therapy were about to be washed away if she didn’t find a way to step into her power and not let her shy, frightened, and rejected teenage self sabotage her newly awakening adult strength.

I wrote back reminding her of how far she’d come since high school.  No one would forget you now, I told her, and then added that since few people remembered her she had the opportunity to make a brand new impression with no old concepts to overcome.  I said her job that night was to be the beautiful, strong, and talented woman who she was in the process of becoming, in spite of the sadness that her teenage self was experiencing.

“You are no longer she.  You are in the process of blooming.  Look to this event as a time to heal the little girl who wasn't acknowledged, and embrace the woman you are and are becoming.”   Then I gave her an exercise.

I teach my clients a form of light energy meditation, which helps release the shadow material.  So I suggested that she first go to her bedroom, close the door and begin the meditation.  In the mediation she was to ask her teenage self to come to her.  When she appeared she was to take her into her arms and hug her and ask her how she could help her.  “Then pour the light through yourself and your teenager and be aware that she is being healed.”  I guided her to then spend the rest of the day being with her teenage self.  She was to talk to her throughout the day and especially while she got dressed and did her hair and make-up.  That night she was to bring her teenage self along to the event.  I told her that her teenage self was the most important person she would be with all evening.  And that she was to keep reminding her teenage self that she, the adult MaryLee, was there for the soul purpose of helping her heal.

The next day I was thrilled to get an email from her.  She had done the exercise and the evening had been a huge success.  She had met new people, men and women, who were excited to meet her.  She had reconnected with old friends who were very happy to see her and learn about what she was up to.  And she had had a deeply healing experience with a woman with whom she had had a bad falling out when they were girls.

What MaryLee did on this occasion was to stay in her power as a grown woman, and treat her teenage self as the wounded girl that she was, and offer to help her heal.  Once the wounded child was acknowledged she no longer was in charge of the evening.  Since the adult MaryLee was in charge, the teenager felt safe in the presence of her grown self, and was able to heal.  And to top it off, the grown up MaryLee had a great time.  She stood in her strength and power and no longer had to carry around that wounded teenager in her backpack.  Now, the adult MaryLee has a healthy new part of her personality that is no longer mired in the past.

When we allow our wounded child to run our lives we can’t possibly stand in our strength and power as adults.  But it takes more than acknowledging them.  We have to meditate with them.  We have to talk to them. We have to listen to them.  We have to take charge.  And we have to be willing to let go of the addiction we have to carrying around their pain and indulging their woundology.  (Thank you, Caroline Myss for coining this useful word.)

The light energy meditation that I work with and teach my clients to work with directs the light through the body to release the consciousness of the remembered pain and suffering from deep within the body down to and beyond the cellular level.  This is what makes it so effective.

We do need to release the pain, and assimilate the essence, the gems of wisdom that the pain taught us.  Then we must invite our inner-children to grow up and join us in the present.  And we can’t do it alone.  We must have a connection to spirit.  Because it is the connection to spirit that makes the joy possible.   It is the connection to spirit that allows the healing to happen.  It is the connection to spirit that shows us that this world is not the painful mess it seems.

When we carry the backpack filled with our old pain we make the pain our god.  We allow the pain to drive our lives.  We have been taught that our past is who we are.  It is not the past; it is the lessons learned from our past gathered together in our present that makes us who we are.  When we empty our backpacks of the pain and carry only the essence in the magical pouch in our hearts we will be much stronger, healthier and more powerful.  And we will have the strength to dive deep and come out on the other side where the light dances on the aqua blue waters and we experience true joy.

© Copyright Barbara Wilder. All Rights Reserved.

Thoughts about the Lighted Grid and My Two Broken Feet

Hi, my dear friends,

So, one week before my birthday, Saturday, February 11, I was out in the beautiful Southern California morning walking, Gage.  He's my dog, if you didn't know.   I had just begun an intuitive painting class that week, and I had painted three paintings that morning.  One was simply the work Help painted diagonally across the paper, with a red dot in the middle of the "e".  I assumed that was, a request for Help from the Divinge universe.  I also had become aware that doing intuitive painting was opening up a pathway into my consciousness that was revealing beautiful new awarenesses that I had never known before.  So, knowing all this, I will continue.  While I was walking down my street, I suddenly felt my heart chakra open and fill with warmth, and the vision of people, all feeling like family, playing together in a field of gold and greenery and pure abundance of everything.  It was so incredibly sweet.  And it was a new sense of abundance that I had never before experienced.  As that continued to infuse me, I saw a beautiful Dogwood bush and looked over to examine one of the blooms.  At that moment my right foot hit a very large break in the sidewalk that rose up about 9 inches.  My right foot twisted causing my left foot to reach out in front of me to stop the fall, but there was another very high break in the sidewalk, like a small ledge, and my left foot landed right on it, and I fell foward over the ankle, and broke it.  Suddenly, after all this loveliness, I was lying on the sidewalk going in an out of consciousness with what I would come to learn was a fractured and sprained right foot, and a broken left ankle (both the fibia and the tibula).  I didn't have my phone, and there was no one on outside.  I realized all I could do was cry for Help.  And then, less than an hour after having  painted the Help in black with a red dot.  (for blood perhaps) I did just that.   

What happened from there was amazing.  An elderly couple passing in a car stopped.  She went up the street and got my neightbor, Dawna.  In the meantime the couple who lived in the house on whose sidewalk I now lay sprawled came out.  They tried to help me up.  He brought out a walking stick, but there was no way that I could stand on either foot.  The woman called 911, and a fire truck arrived, as did my neighbor Dawna.  The firemen made a cardboard splint for my worst foot and carried me into Dawna's car.  She took me to the ER and the rest is history.  The strange thing is that they sent me home with crutches and not a wheel chair, which was on the absurd side, since both feet were inoperable.  When I got home my 6'10" basketball player neighbor picked me up, carried me into the house, and set me in my rolling desk chair which was my mode of movement for the next twelve days until I finally got a wheel chair.  All of the stuff with doctors and insurance was a comedy of errors and craziness, which I won't bother with here.  Just know that my feet are both healing.  I can stand on my right foot for a few moments at a time, and I'm getting around quite well in my wheel chair.  The pain is still pretty intense, but I manage that with pain killers.  

But in the meantime I'm painting up a storm.  I'm not a painter, I'm simply expressing my inner experience with  paint on paper, and it is a sweet sweet exercise.  And I am meditating, journaling, and healing.  Sweet people have gathered around me to Help me through this.  And what I am seeing is the birth of that community of love and abundance that I saw in my vision just before I fell.  

In my Light Work practice the Light energy that is anchored in the feet chakra is called The Joy of living.  I knew from the instant I became conscious lying on the sidewalk that what had just happened was that  my feet chakra was breaking open to let in The Joy of Living.  I feel it more and more each day.  

Yesterday I was speaking with a lovely friend, Jamie, who is also and energy worker and healer.  She is struggling with monetary woes right now, and I am struggling, of course, with my broken feet.  Before we hung up I told her that I was sending her lots of healing Light energy for her finances.  And she responded that she was sending me lots of healing Light energy for my feet.  Suddenly I saw what that looked like.  Beams of healing energy stretching across the map of the US (she's in NY. I'm in LA).  And then I saw a vision of what the earth will look like when we are all sending healing energy to one another.  It was a gorgeous grid of Light, like a web of healing, criss-crossing the planet.  And I realized that that is what will, or is, shifting humanity up into a new world of peace, abundance, and joy.  

So, my suggestion to you all is to send as much healing Light energy to as  many friends as possible each day, so that we can intensify the Lighted grid.  And also, open your own heart to  the healing Light coming to you from all around the world.    

 With much love, joy, abundance, and great goodwill,

Money in the Time of Ascension

Wow!  It’s finally 2012.  Many of you have been anticipating this magical year for decades.    We still have eleven months to get to the end of the world as we know it, 21 December, and the beginning of the new paradigm, 22 December.  In the meantime, my sense is there is magic taking place behind the scenes, and we are the magicians.  We each have within us a portion of the great mosaic masterpiece of the new paradigm.  And it is our mission, if we choose to accept it, to strip ourselves of all our old demons of shame, fear, lack, anger, co-dependency, and victimhood that we’ve carried for lifetimes, so that we are brand spanking new to enter the new paradigm, or the ascension into the 5th dimension.  And therefore we each will be a beautiful shining tile of the great new mosaic. 

What exactly the new paradigm will be like is not yet known, because it is being created by each one of us, each moment of each and every day.  This process has been going on for quite some time, but now we’re in the final hours.  So much of the heavy lifting has been accomplished.  Now it’s the time for fine tuning, polishing, and digging up the last of the shadow material and giving it to the Light. 

Each of us came into this life with life themes, such as illness, death of loved ones, feelings of low self esteem, never having enough love, or money, or success.  These life themes aren’t random occurrences, but what we chose to work with for our own soul’s growth and expansion and for the growth and expansion of humanity’s collective consciousness. We are not islands unto ourselves; we are part of the greater human beingness.  But having said that, there are times when we must be alone to go inward to polish our mosaic tile. And this is one of those times. 

If you find that one of your life themes is the pain around Money, you are not alone.  All of us, from the poorest to the wealthiest, share in this theme, because in the old paradigm Money was imbued with the energies of fear, greed, lack, anger, poverty, extreme wealth (as opposed to comfortable wealth for all), power over others, war, hunger, and domination.  This  has caused spiritual people to disdain money, thinking of it as a necessary evil. Some believe that the only way to be free of painful money issues personally and globally is to get rid of Money altogether. 

There is a lot of discussion and experimenting with ideas of going back to the barter system, or creating new currencies to replace Money.  But though these are noble efforts, they aren’t practical or effective.  Barter worked in earlier eras because we lived in small communities.  Now seven billion people live on the planet, necessitating a more fluid currency.  And not effective, because creating a new currency doesn’t address the root issue, which is the false belief that there is a limited amount of Money in the world, and we must fight and even die to get our share. 

One thing we do know about the new paradigm is that Money will vibrate at the frequency of Love and abundance for all.   It will be understood that Money is a gift of Love from Source to support every one of us.  We won’t have a new currency;  Money will have a new consciousness.  For this shift from Money based on the old paradigm of fear, greed, and power over others, into Money based on Love, abundance, and goodwill for all, we each must heal our own personal money issues, and transform Money into Love within ourselves so that it becomes part of the new mosaic.  The knowledge that there is enough for all will help us let go of ego attachment to being better or worse than others because we have more or less Money, and allow ourselves to flow into our own life paths and our own divinity. 

Truth is, Money is part of the holy universe.  It is here to support us all, and all it takes for this truth to be made manifest is for us to heal the feelings of lack, fear, greed, and anger within ourselves. And each time we heal a tiny part of these feelings, we heal a part of the greater human consciousness around Money.  Each time we heal within ourselves a sliver of guilt, a modicum of greed, a small bit of low self-esteem, we are healing the World consciousness around Money.  Because when we heal, we open up to the flow of Love and abundance and that Love and abundance then amplifies throughout the greater consciousness, which will in time shift the world’s economy from a fear based economy into a Love based economy. 

As we polish the mosaic tile of our own money themes, the world banks will, without even knowing they’re doing it, shift up into the higher vibration of Love. And Love is limitless. All of this is being accomplished within our own hearts and minds. We are the magicians behind the scenes.  We are creating the magic of the new paradigm. 

Copyright © by Barbara Wilder 2012

An Ancient Myth that tells the story of today.

Hi, All,

I'm posting this today, because I believe that this ancient Hindu myth tells the story of exactly where we have been and what is happening right now, as I write this post.  The tide is turning.  The shift of the economy, which is the shift from the old paradigm of greed and disregard and hate for the beloved Mother, to the unfolding of a truly abundant, loving paradigm where All of the Mother's children will be taken care of is happening.  We are, everyone of us, even the bad guys are "stirring up the Sea of Milk." (see the story below)

Here is the ancient myth.  Look at the wonderful symbolism in a myth written thousands of years ago.  

LAKSHMI – THE HINDU GODDESS OF WEALTH

In Hindu mythology, Lakshmi, also known as Shri, is the goddess of all that the material world offers to humanity. The legends say that all women of the world are forms of Lakshmi, and that where Lakshmi presides there is prosperity, virtue, righteousness, truth, and compassion.

One of the Lakshmi myths begins when Devendra, King of the Gods, carelessly, allows his horse to trample Lakshmi’s lotus blossom necklace that is lying on the riverbank. The great sage Durvarsa is so incensed by this lack of respect for the gracious Mother of All, that he puts a curse on Devendra so that he may never see Lakshmi again.

But this curse on Devendra deprives the entire Earth of Lakshmi’s presence. Without the goddess of wealth and compassion there is great suffering throughout the land. There is not enough food for all the people. Only the kings dine on fine foods served on golden plates. The demons are happy to see this division between the rich and the poor. They side with the kings and celebrate their greed.

Soon the kings realize that their greed cannot sustain them. Without Lakshmi, the Earth is parched. No food can grow, and even the mightiest rulers have nothing left.  They turn their backs on the demons and appeal to the gods to intervene to bring Lakshmi back.

It is revealed that Lakshmi now resides under the sea of milk. It will take the power of all the gods, mortals, and even the demons to churn the sea of milk and return her. After much politicking, the gods convince the demons that once Lakshmi is restored to heaven, the kings will regain their wealth and will turn to them again to support their wars and greed.

All the gods, mortals, and demons agree to work together to churn the sea of milk. They work for many days, but to no avail. At last, just as they are about to give up, Lakshmi arises on a red lotus blossom with golden coins falling from her hands. All are elated by her presence. She brings with her ambrosia to heal the land, and there is great rejoicing, but quickly the demons steal the ambrosia. The celebrating stops as the gods fight the demons to reclaim the ambrosia. The great God Vishnu, who is the preserver of the universe, comes to the rescue, disguised as a beautiful a seductress. He takes the ambrosia from the demons, and then instructs the gods and the demons to sit down in two lines so that he can share the ambrosia equally with all of them. But this is a trick. He fills the cups of the gods with ambrosia, but the cups of demons he fills with poison. With the demons finally gone there is great celebration, as Lakshmi bestows health and prosperity on the land once more.

It’s interesting to note that even the demons are integral in bringing Lakshmi back to Earth. Because the demons hold power over the parched and barren land, they are necessary in the return of the Great Mother Lakshmi. Yet they must be tricked into the game by the gods, who know that their delight in war and the games of greed and seduction, are also their downfall.

In our society, the demons are playing their role in churning up the sea by showing their hand so obviously in the wars, politics, and corporate scandals that abound. As we Power Women and everyone who loves goodness and truth own our power, we are joining the forces churning the sea of milk, and in the final act, we will depose the demons. 

Time to Put an End to Fear and Greed

"Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Oh, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be." That's the song that has been going through my head for the last several days. I think I might add some new lyrics. "Let it fall. Let it fall. Let it fall, Oh, let it fall. There will be a healing, let it fall." There is an old Chinese curse that says, "May you live in Interesting times." Well, these are certainly interesting times. And you may be saying, enough already, with these interesting times. But you can also see this as a time for great celebration. The old ways are dying. They are literally falling apart. Politicians are trying to save the old, but there is no way. The old fear and greed economy is no longer viable. It is over. It's time for a change. Yes, a very big change. A change that is so immese that our poor little brains can't conceive it. But our hearts can. Our hearts have the capacity for great love. And it is great love that will heal our economic woes. Nothing more and nothing less
than Great Love. Great love for yourself, and for all your sisters and brothers throughout the world. This is what is called for now. And it's not easy. But this is what we are being asked to do. This will heal the crisis. So, it's a time for deep soul searching and deep heart healing. And immense trust in the sacredness of our holy universe.

Announcing Upcoming Teleclass - Prosperity from the Heart

                        PROSPERITY FROM THE HEART 

– A five week TeleClass on

How to Open Your Heart to Allow a Steady Stream of Prosperity into Your Life in the Midst of These Challenging Times

                                                           

With BARBARA WILDER

 Author of

MONEY IS LOVE:

Reconnecting to the Sacred Origins of Mone

Are you facing foreclosure or bankruptcy?  Do you fear you’ll never be able to pay off your debt?  Have you lost your job and fear you’ll never find another?  Do you fear if you leave a job that is stifling your soul that you’ll never be able to find another one in this hopeless job-market?  Are you afraid that Social Security will be cut off?  Are you afraid that you’ll die a bag lady or a homeless dude? 
If you answered YES to any of these questions this is the teleclass you have been waiting for!  

Learn  how to unhook from the collective fear around money, and tap into the abundant flow of the universe.  Money is Energy.  Energy is Limitless.  Therefore MONEY is Limitless, but only when it is infused with LOVE.

October 18th Event FREE

Click to Register

                                    

Love expands.  Fear contracts.   

This teleclass goes beyond the Law of Attraction and teaches you the tools to actually transform your thoughts and feelings so that you become the attractor of your wealth, while at the same time you learn to transform money into love so that it becomes something 

you whole-heartedly desire to attract.

There is a lot of talk about ascension these days.  In this teleclass you will learn to ascend right here on earth 

into the vibration of true wealth. 

“The Talmud says, ‘True Wealth is abundance that does not create scarcity.’” Nilton Bonder, The Kabbalah of Money   

FREE  Introductory Event

Tuesday October 18

 2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern 

  Living in the Vibration of Love and Money 

Barbara will share with you her own stories of loss, bankruptcy, foreclosure and how she not only survived them all, but how she learned, grew and prospered from them.  She will talk about fear and how it is the poison the has crippled the worldwide economy, and show us how, by releasing our own fears, we can prosper in the midst of this worldwide economic failure, and even become bright lights to help others find their way onto the path to financial peace and serenity.    

----------------------------------------------

FREE event on Oct. 18 is followed by 4 Week Class $197.00

Change your entire financial future for just $197.00  Click to Register

4 Week Course Outline

Class #1 – 10/25 - 2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

THE HISTORY OF MONEY AND UNHOOKING FROM OLD BELIEFS ABOUT MONEY AND POWER

This class will focus on the history of money to give you a brand new perspective on what money is, and how you can reconnect to money’s original purpose which is to support you and your dreams.  We will begin the process of stripping away the fear that keeps you focused on lack and begin to nurture a new sense of love and abundance.   

Class #2 -- 11/1 - 2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

MONEY IS ENERGY – HOW YOU CAN DIRECT MONEY ENERGY INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT – RELEASING THE FEAR AND EMBRACING THE LOVE

This class will focus on money as energy, and you will learn a Light Energy meditation technique that will help you disconnect from your old dysfunctional relationship with money and begin to create a healthy new relationship money.  You will begin to nurture the expectation that you truly deserve and are ready to live in prosperity.

Class #3 -- 11/8 -  2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

FORGIVING DEBT, RELEASING GUILT, RECEIVING ALLTHE MONEY YOU NEED – and DISCONNECTING FROM THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS AROUND THE ECONOMIC CRISIS.    This class will focus on the Three Gs - Greed, Guilt or Gut.  Using the techniques you have learned in the previous classes you will learn how to tune into how much money you actually need from a place of peace and trust.  You will learn to release both guilt and greed, and using your gut (intuition), become attuned to your true level of wealth.  You are a unique individual. Your wealth is not your neighbor’s wealth.   

Class #4 – 11/15 - 2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern

MONEY TO SUPPORT YOUR DREAMS

This class will take you into a deeper connection with your own life’s purpose so that you can begin to manifest the wealth that will support that purpose.  You will learn that living a peaceful, joyful, and prosperous life is your birthright.  

 Click here to Register    

New Beginnings

Dear Fellow Travelers,

 

It's been about four months since I wrote to you.  And what a four months it has been.  When last I wrote, I was living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and asking for guidance for what my next step was to be. Santa Fe is a  powerful transformation vortex, and during my two years there my  lesson learning was intense, and the inner growth remarkable. I will share parts of that journey in future blog post/newsletters.  But back to the beginning, so sometime in May shortly after my last post to you, I received my inner direction to move home to Los Angeles.  I had been away for 17years, and now I was being called home.  I had lived in Los Angeles for 27 years when I was guided to move to Boulder, Colorado in 1994.  Those 15 years in Boulder and 2 in Santa Fe were filled with an immense amount of lesson learning, sharing the light, going bankrupt, major surgery, writing two books, creating my own Light Energy Healing modality and The Transformational Light Center, speaking, teaching, loving my husband, losing him through divorce, buying a home and finally selling it this year in a short sale, meeting a new love, and moving to live with him in New Mexico, finding myself in a relationship that took me into and through a dark journey that challenged me to step more and more fully into the Light and into my own sweet power, and ultimately out of the relationship. A pretty amazing 17 years. 

And then one day in Santa Fe, after 9 months of healing and assimilating essence from the relationship journey, I heard the distinct whisper of my Soul.  "It's time to go home."  My heart burst open with joy.  Go, home?  I can go home?  Tears began to stream from my eyes.  I knew I missed L.A.  But I had remained true to my word to go where I was guided, so I hadn't realized how homesick I'd been all those years.  But now, my tears flowed with unfettered joy.

 I was living in a friend's home while she was living in Toronto.  She was coming back to live in Santa Fe in October, so I figured I'd stay in Santa Fe until October and in the meantime make plans to move to L.A. But that wasn't the Higher plan. Almost immediately I found myself working with my son, 

My Son Sean and Me

 Sean, who lives in L.A., to find a home on Craigslist.  He actually was the one who found my new home.  I never saw it until the day I moved in.  I just trusted him.  He said, "Mom, you're going to love this place.  It's beautiful, and it's got great energy."  So, I said, okay.  That was on June 8th. On June 18th I drove away from Santa Fe, with my dog Gage, and moved into my new home on June 20th. 

 Dry air and high altitudes are very hard on my particular physical structures.  So Boulder at 5400 feet and Santa Fe at 7000 feet  above sea level with desert conditions had challenged me greatly.  

When I arrived at my new home, I couldn't believe the gift I had been given by the Divine Mother. A beautiful green lawn stretched in front of the building, a 1940s fourplex on the western edge of Bel-Air.  The street was lined with Jacaranda trees in bloom with their purple flowers.. On my front lawn right outside my huge living room window were luscious Tree Ferns, and trimmed hedges, and a patio that stretched around the outside of my apartment.  Out the back door was a sheer mountain side covered in purple flowers and palm trees.  Bougainvillea spilled over the next door fence. The air was moist, and I realized that being 20 minutes from the ocean we got the sea breezes here.  Inside it was small compared to the huge house I'd had in Santa Fe, but, it was all mine, and it was sweet, with a fireplace, and highly polished hardwood floors.  It was perfect.  And I was HOME.  

Now, what next?  Well, first of all getting the house set up, and then starting to remember how to live in a city of 7 million people.  I love it.  I love the people's energy here.  Many years ago when I first came to live in L.A. in my early twenties, I hated it.  It was smoggy and awful.  Then one day after I had lived here for a couple of years, I was sitting all alone in Ben Franks, a coffee shop on Sunset Strip, and I heard a voice in my head saying, "I love L.A."  I was shocked.  I wondered who talked.  Then I realized it was my true inner voice, and I did indeed Love L.A.  So, I'm starting over.  I'm beginning my new life in my old home in my mid-sixties.  

What I do know for certain, is that gratitude is the bottom line.  Each day, I wake up and am so incredibly grateful for what I have now, and all that I have had, no matter how difficult it has been in my whole life.  All my broken hearts, and broken dreams, and all my lessons, all my lovers and all my really wonderful friends and all the really awful friends. Everything. My difficult family. My wonderful son. Every single thing.  All the physical challenges.  All the grief.  All the love.  All are gifts of this life.  Life is the gift. 

So, it's from here that I begin again.  What will I do?  I will continue to teach and heal with the LIGHT.  I will begin to teach others to teach the Light work.  I will take long walks every day.  I will make new friends.  I will continue to turn money into love.  I will continue to help women face their fears and open their hearts to their power and their sweetness and their purpose. I will continue to help men connect to their enlightened masculine.  I will probably write a couple more books.  And I will love.  I will love every single moment of every single day.  And be present in the moment.  Because it is in the present moment that all is love.  All is perfect.  

A new friend here in L.A.,  Alana Lea, said to me the other day.  "Must be present to win!" And that's the truth.  Love it.  

I love you.  I love all the beautiful people on this planet who are attempting to face their fears, open their hearts, and live in the Light of gratitude.  I love all those who are still afraid to open their eyes to the possibilities.  And I love the animals.  Because it is the animals who connect us to our hearts.  Domestic and wild.  I heard a story today about a man who was heading down the stairs at the World Trade Center on 9/11 with his dog.  The building was swaying and man let the leash go. His dog ran down the stairs in front of him, disappearing out of sight.  The man continued on slowly.  Soon his dog returned to get him, and the two emerged from the building safely together.  Ahhh.  

Here's a meditation 

Take a deep breath.  Breath into your belly and hold the breath. And release.  Take another deep breath and breath down into your legs and feet. Hold it.  And release.  Take another deep breath and breath up into your brain and hold it.   And release.  Now, take one more deep breath and breath into your heart and hold it.  And release.  Return to your normal breathing as you ...

Experience being with your awareness in  your heart and heart chakra.  Become aware that there is a a beautiful Fuchsia colored Sun glowing in your heart and in your heart chakra.  Experience that with each breath you take this Fuchsia Light expands out from your heart and out through your entire body.  Then take a deep breath and expand the beautiful glowing Fuchsia Light past your  body and into your energy field, filling your energy field.  

Let this Fuchsia Light intensify throughout your body and field.  Now, focus your attention on the Fuchsia light in your belly button.  And become aware that this Fuchsia Light is moving out from your belly button creating a ribbon of light that drops down into the earth, and into the center of the Earth and to the Spirit of the Divine Mother  reconnecting you to Her.  And become aware that she is the giver of all the sweet abundance of the earth that is your birthright as Her divine daughter or son.  She feeds you in every way, through this umbilical cord, with the energy of her luscious Fuchsia Light.  This is where your wealth comes from.  All She asks is for you to open your heart to Her.  To allow Her to feed you, support you, heal you, and love you for all that you are and all that you are becoming.  

Sit with this Light  flowing up from Her richness into and throughout your entire physical, emotional, perceptual and mental bodies and energy fields.   

Be aware throughout the day, whenever you are feeling unloved, or unsupported, or in anyway lacking, that the luscious loving abundance from the Divine Mother is flowing up and through you.  You are filled with Fuchsia Light.  You are the light. 

Have a beautiful day.  

Blessings my fellow travelers.