A Letter to a Dear Friend

 My student, Rowan Lynn, shared this with me.  I was so moved that I wanted to share it with my readers.  

Dear Friend,

          You have been such a loyal friend.  You have loved me and been there for me all this time.  You carried my burdens for me: my stress, my trauma, my anger, my grief.   No matter what you’ve been through, no matter how many times I failed you, you remained faithful and true to me, always doing your best to be there for me.  You’ve gone through some very rough things and I wasn’t there for you in return.  You’ve tried everything to get me to hear you and I treated you like you didn’t matter, even worse I treated you like you were the enemy.  So now, I’d like to acknowledge your pain by telling you all the things I’m sorry for:

            I’m sorry you were hurt.  I’m sorry you weren’t loved or respected.  I’m sorry you were used.  I’m sorry you were forced.  I’m sorry you were manipulated.  I’m sorry you were abused by others and by me.  I’m sorry you were ignored.  I’m sorry you were taken advantage of and taken for granted.  I’m sorry that things that were supposed to be beautiful and pleasurable experiences for you were turned into a nightmare that you’ve had to carry all these years.  I’m sorry you missed out on so much of the good stuff.  I’m sorry you lived in fear all this time.  I’m sorry you had to feel alone and isolated all this time.  I’m sorry you haven’t felt safe all this time.  I’m sorry you’ve had to keep your guard up all this time.  I’m sorry I’ve always been so critical of you.  I’m sorry I’ve judged you harshly.  I’m sorry I’ve been so impatient with you.  I’m sorry I haven’t accepted you.  I’m sorry I haven’t given you the love and nurturing you needed, yet still expected you to be perfect for me.  I’m sorry I’ve had so much resentment towards you for not being exactly what I wanted you to be.  I’m sorry I let other people’s shallow words and ideas influence my opinion of you.  I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you.  I’m sorry I didn’t let you feel free enough to express yourself.  I’m sorry I never asked your opinion about anything.  I’m sorry I tried to force you into submission instead of working WITH you. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see the truth. 

            Thank you for working so hard.  Thank you for helping me through everything and being there for me always.  Thank you for teaching me how to hear your wisdom.  Thank you for going on this healing journey with me.   Thank you for giving me so many chances to learn my lessons and for being so patient with me.  You are so amazing.  You are strong and beautiful just the way you are.  I promise to stop doing things “to” you.  From now on I will do things with you and for you and I will consider your opinions and feelings before I make any decisions that affect you.

            I’m lucky to have you.  I’m proud to be your friend.  I will be here for you supporting you, encouraging you and protecting you always while we are together in this lifetime.  You are my body and I love you.

Yours truly,

~Rowan Lynn